According to Smith, it’s downright insulting in its underestimation of and patronizing attitude towards its assumed-to-be female listeners.
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He assumes it is “about dealing with the angst that comes after a breakup,” and says that, “Basically, I consider this kind of pair-bonding-obsessed weepiness to be anti-feminist, retrograde and disempowering to women.” According to him, the title of the work – “How To Be Alone” – isn’t an artsy-but-honest move in the style of Nick Hornby’s How To Be Good or Lorrie Moore’s “How To Be A Writer” or even in the same spirit of Jonathan Franzen’s How to Be Alone– but an instruction manual for a hypothetical audience of women who are terrified of waking up alone without a boyfriend or husband or even sleazy one-night stand by their side. It’s actually a betrayal of feminist ideals, predicated on the idea that “women are weak” and not inherently capable of being on their own, and therefore need explicit instructions on how to handle this. But you’re going to have to put those aside for a minute and simmer down, because A Man has also viewed this video, and he needs to share his thoughts.Īccording to Russell Smith, this video/poem isn’t quite the whimsical-but-brave declaration of independence that it first appears to be. You can watch it for yourself here (via Jezebel):ĭavis’s poem and the video, made by filmmaker Andrea Dorfman, has garnered almost a million views on youtube, which to me says that it gave a lot of people a lot of feelings. Her advice ranges from what some have called the slightly “twee” (for instance: dancing alone in a bar) to the more practical, the more gutwrenching (“You could be, in an instant, surrounded if you needed it… there is heat in freezing. She wants to help you figure out how to do this, this being alone. Poet Tanya Davis knows this too, and she made a poem/video/moving doodle/piece of art about it. Sometimes being alone is hard because of how other people look at being alone. Sometimes you want to be alone sometimes. Sometimes you have always been alone because you like it better than people. Sometimes you look up and around in your life and everyone who was there before was gone, and that is what being alone is. The 200 Best Lesbian, Bisexual & Queer Movies Of All Time.LGBTQ Television Guide: What To Watch Now.
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